D*ck pics are gross
It’s time to face the facts: nobody wants a picture of your Johnson. Your one-eyed willy doesn’t impress any one, nor does it make them want to listen to you grunt for 3 minutes.
Unsolicited Means Unwanted
Unsolicited d*ck pics are sexual assault in many cases. No one wants to be assaulted.
They're Not Impressed
No one saves your peepee pics for later. They delete them after showing them to their friends and making fun of you.
Eggplants Are Funny
If you're gonna make a person laugh by sending them something they don't want, make sure they’re laughing with you instead of at you.
Improve Your Odds
Sending a piece of fruit is just dumb enough to work. They'll think you're a hoot and actually call you back!
What's In The Box?
- 1 Eggplant (duh)
- 1 Information card
- Plenty of packing
Frequently Asked Questions
Under no circumstances do we condone eating the eggplants.
🤷🏻♂️ A few days to a few weeks. You know how the mail can be.
Yes. We don’t feel like writing your names on every single package we ship out.
We live for the luls. 😎
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